World of Warcraft
Among the leaders of the Horde, you see warriors forged by honor, outcasts seeking a home, and spiritual guides trying to heal a broken world. On the other hand, we have (had) Jastor Gallywix.
This ugly dude only cared about profit. He could not give two bits about honor nor the Horde. Visually, Gallywix was the exact physical manifestation of greed. Unlike the agile, scrappy goblins running around Azeroth, he was morbidly obese, covered in warts, wearing a top hat small for his proportions, clad in gaudy gold jewelry, and always smoking a cuban cigar. For over a decade, this grotesque, mob-boss figure stood as the absolute embodiment of goblin capitalism, leading a life of pure exploitation (similar people can be seen in the real world) until his eventual downfall.
Lost in Kezan, A Masterpiece
The goblin starting zone of Kezan remains one of the best introductory experiences in World of Warcraft history. It perfectly established who Gallywix was. When Deathwing shattered the world and the local volcano on Kezan erupted, Gallywix offered his panicked people a spot on his escape ship, but only if they handed over their life savings and essentially agreed to become his slaves. Lots of goblins waiting in the bank line to withdraw their savings can be seen on Kezan whilst the volcano is erupting.
Following their escape, the goblins are shipwrecked on the Lost Isles, and former Warchief Thrall steps in to rescue them, beating Gallywix to a pulp in the process. But in a baffling move, Thrall allowed him to remain the leader of the Bilgewater Cartel as they joined the Horde. Gallywix was spared, but he learned absolutely nothing about honor.
Goblin Penthouse of Gallywix in Azshara
Gallywix did nothing of value for the next few years. He sat back, relaxed, and spent his money on luxury, not caring about world-ending threats expansions threw at us.
Instead of fighting on the frontlines, Gallywix spent the expansions between Cataclysm and Battle for Azeroth claiming the zone of Azshara as his personal playground. He literally carved his own face into a mountain and built the Gallywix Pleasure Palace. It was the Azerothian equivalent of a 100th-floor Manhattan penthouse dropped into a fantasy game. Complete with swimming pools, absurd luxury, and a ridiculous entourage of “sexy” goblin women fanning him, Gallywix treated faction leadership like an endless vacation. His number one goal was to maximize the Cartel’s profits.
The Azerite Boom and Sylvanas’s War
His true rise to global relevance came during the Battle for Azeroth. When the blood of the world, a powerful magical mineral called Azerite, began surfacing, Gallywix was actually already familiar with it. Years ago, while the Bilgewater Cartel was digging deep into Kezan for Kaja’mite ore to please their customers with Kaja’Cola, a miner discreetly found a chunk of Azerite. The sycophant goblin presented and used it to bribe Gallywix. Then the Trade Prince fashioned this immensely powerful substance into the orb ornamenting his cane, hiding it in plain sight for years.
When the time was right, he brazenly presented the mineral to Warchief Sylvanas Windrunner, essentially sparking the Fourth War. Throughout the expansion, he acted as her loyal financier, building massive war machines and profiting off the immense bloodshed. He rode around in a giant mechanical spider, perfectly content with the mass casualties as long as the gold kept flowing into his pockets.
Gallywix’s Flight and Gazlowe’s Rise
However, a CEO’s loyalty only lasts as long as the stock price is high. When Sylvanas dramatically abandoned the Horde at the gates of Orgrimmar after defeating Overlord Saurfang in a duel, Gallywix realized he had backed the wrong horse. Knowing the rest of the Horde leaders would execute him for his war-profiteering, he did what he does best; packed his bags, gathered his gold, and vanished completely.
Following his cowardly escape, the Horde finally got the goblin leader it deserved, Gazlowe. Unlike Gallywix, Gazlowe was honorable, hard-working, and legendary for being the chief architect who originally designed and built the city of Orgrimmar. He stepped up to lead the Bilgewater Cartel, finally valuing his workers over his wallet.
The Final Audit in Undermine
For years, players and myself wondered where the disgraced Trade Prince went. The answer arrived in The War Within expansion. Gallywix had retreated to the legendary subterranean goblin capital of Undermine.
True to his nature, he allied himself with the ruthless Venture Company, using hostile takeovers and sheer capitalist cruelty to try and dominate the entire city. But every debt eventually comes due. In the Liberation of Undermine raid, players finally tracked down the bloated, gold-hoarding ex-Trade Prince. Serving as the ultimate raid boss, Gallywix’s reign of exploitation was violently brought to an end.
Personal Thoughts on Jastor Gallywix
There is a strange, poetic irony in Jastor Gallywix’s timeline for me. I truly started playing World of Warcraft properly during the Cataclysm era, exactly when Gallywix and the goblins were introduced. Kezan remains one of my absolute favorite starting zones to this day. Funnily enough, his departure from the Horde and eventual demise perfectly aligned with the times I stepped away from the game. It’s almost as if we started our journey together and clocked out at the same time. Yes, I have played on and off sometimes till the end of Dragonflight but very casually and with big breaks in-between.
I will never forget stumbling upon his Pleasure Palace in Azshara for the first time. Seeing this grotesque, fat mobster chilling by a pool with his entourage in the middle of a war-torn world was a nice WoW comedy. Good riddance, Trade Prince. Azeroth is better off without you.
